25 replies to this topic

[Gravenimage]

Fyuria's Leo@ that's what Kishimoto should have done with Hinata's character in the first place. Not turning her into the biggest Mary Sue in history.

[Bryon_Konoha_Ninja]

I got an idea of showing Hinata's development in my fanfic, Naruto: The Demon Within, since I am starting to show the Leaf 12 all getting ready to travel on their individual paths to when the main story kicks off a little later. :) I hope I captured how everyone is here very well, since I always worry about keeping everyone in character when I work on this, especially since as I said, Kishimoto-sensei unintentionally pissed all over everyone with the ending.

 

 

Meanwhile, in the Hidden Leaf Village, at the estate of the Hyuga clan, one of the Leaf's most prestigous clans, a young girl with short dark blue hair and pale white featureless eyes was resting over on a porch, wearing a white and blue colored yukata, watching an older man in about his forties with long black hair, wearing a white yukata as well as a dark brown haori, standing in a position with a young man with long black-ish brown hair, tied into a ponytail with a Leaf Village headband over his forehead, with a white khaki shirt, dark brown shorts, and blue ninja sandals as well as having bandages around his right arm and leg.

 

"Remember, Neji, you need to keep your stance and collected. The Gentle Fist is meant to be gentle, yet fierce. If you come off too heavy-handed, you will not be able to execute even the simplest of blows without effectiveness."

 

Nodding, the young man, Neji Hyuga, spoke up. "I believe I understand what you are getting at, Uncle Hiashi. I always figured the Gentle Fist was meant to be devastating in its force."

 

Hiashi nodded, straigtening himself, and crossing his arms. "I can see why you would feel that way. The Gentle Fist was developed by our ancestors to make use of the power of the Byakugan and its ability to see the Tenketsu as well as the Chakra Network when developing Jutsu such as the 8 Trigrams 64 Palms. But the idea of Gentle Fist was meant to be literal. To be a gentle blow, but to strike fiercely."

 

"Yes."

 

The young lady sitting and observing them smiled at this sight. This young lady was Hinata Hyuga, the eldest of Hiashi's two daughters. She was a kind but shy kunoichi, seeking to better herself. She also had the Byakugan same as others of her clan, yet her natural control of the Byakugan and use of Gentle Fist were nothing compared to her cousin Neji's. She then cleared her throat. "Um, Father...? May I say something?"

 

Hiashi blinked, then turned to Hinata and smiled gently. "Alright, Hinata."

 

Standing up to her feet, Hinata bowed in respect, then spoke again. "You have a good sense of the power the Gentle Fist is meant to have, big brother Neji, but you must also remember, it isn't just power the Gentle Fist has, it has speed to it as well. The key principles of the Gentle Fist are to show power but invoke gentleness, to move as swift as the wind, yet to strike like lightning. At... at least... that's what Father and Grandfather have always said... and what I remember their saying to Hanabi..." Blushing, Hinata felt embarrassed that she had said something so bold.

 

But hearing this, Neji smiled, as did Hiashi. "I understand, Hinata." Said Neji as he took his stance once again, leaning himself down, his right arm extended behind him, his left arm stretching outward in front of him as he inhaled... then exhaled before letting out a kata of palm strikes and double finger strikes using his index and middle fingetrs, moving his hands in such alternating motions it was fast beyond the human eye.

 

However, Hiashi was still beaming, as he turned toward his daughter, and thought 'Hinata. You always were trying so hard to improve yourself, yet even after all you went through, you persevered. If only I had been brave like you are... to continue training you instead of letting Father convince me of thinking only of the clan... then perhaps things would be different. No. They CAN be different, and they will be. Teaching Neji is the start... but you, Neji, Hanabi... you three will have to be the generation to change the way the Hyuga clan is. Sango... I imagine you're very proud of Hinata, and have even helped her, when I became such a fool...'

 

 

Sorry also if my writing isn't on par. But enjoy!

[Strangelove]

Remember the God tree that was chopped off? It falls on her.

 

There that's my story. Mission Accomplished!

[Tiller]

I guess my Hinata is going to be like how Hinata was before all this kitten started... in the background and largely unimportant to the story I'm going to tell.

[Midoriko]

I'll make her thinking dialog say "Naruto-kun" with a worried face then make her disappear. Or have her die instead of Neji

[TheFirstEvil100]

Remember the God tree that was chopped off? It falls on her.
 
There that's my story. Mission Accomplished!

Oh good one and sweet as well I know I doing one which she is killed as well if her fans put me in a bad mode that is which lets face it we all know that they will.

I will say this in one story my evil Sakura will kitten slap her around, why is Sakura evil well that is a long story.