Found a funny crack!fic on Livejournal. It has five parts at the moment and it's one of the most hilarious things I've ever read.
Here's the latest chapter. It has links to the previous ones...Lots of SasuNaru innuendo (it
is in the SasuNaru comm) and NaruSaku/SakuSasu wishful thinking, but other than that, shipping is not really taken seriously.
QUOTE
Naruto: But I can't let Orochimaru have you! You're my best friend!
Sasuke: I have chosen my own way.
Naruto: You don't understand. I didn't come here because you're my comrade. I-I...With this I will prove how I truly feel...
Sasuke: Wh-What?
Naruto: I didn't realize how strong my feelings were...These aren't just friendly feelings towards a comrade!
Sasuke: ...It's too late...We can't...
Naruto: I love...
Sasuke: Na-Naruto...Stop it...I...
Naruto: ...Sakura-chan!
Sasuke: I...WHAT?!?
Naruto: Of course, you're also more than a friend to me. To me, you are like a brother.
Sasuke: *shakes with anger* Why is it that every time a SasuNaru moment starts to rear its head, you have to be there kicking it in the balls with your "You're like a brother to me"-kitten?! Why Naruto, why?!?
Naruto: But we are like brothers! We are always fighting, annoying the hell out of each other and bickering. That's what brothers are like, right?
Sasuke: I'm SO leaving!
Naruto: But...But you can't go! That would break my heart!
Sasuke: I would be more worried about my face than my heart, if I were you! So you just came here because of Sakura?
Naruto: Sure. I probably wouldn't have noticed that you're gone before Monday if Shikamaru hadn't come to tell me.
Sasuke: *twitch*
Naruto: I do have more important things to do than just deal with your angst but because Sakura-chan asked me to save you…
Sasuke: *twitchtwitch*
Naruto: So let's just go home and forget this silly "I'm going to Orochimaru"-wangst, right Mr. Attention whore?
Sasuke: There was only one reason why I didn't cut off your head and I just forgot what it was...
Naruto: Come on! Let's go home! Sakura-chan misses you!
Sasuke: Why is it always about her? Haven’t I saved you like four times?! Don’t I always end up in the hospital because of you?! Aren't I your best friend? Maybe I’m just gonna leave now and leave you here weeping. Then you can just run after me and keep sacrificing yourself and I’m not going to care! Then you’ll know how it feels! Sometimes I think you aren't even listening to what I'm saying. You're just thinking about Sakura!
Naruto: *blinks* What did you say? I wasn't listening to what you said, I was thinking about Sakura-chan.
Sasuke: *cracks knuckles* This will hurt you way kittening more than it hurts me.
and another one
QUOTE
Tsunade: Have to say that I don't understand that Uchiha kid.
Sai: Me neither.
Tsunade: Huh?
Sai: He has the best ass in Konoha. He could get anyone he wants. And what does he want? To shag the blond clown in a orange sweatsuit.
Naruto: SAI!
Sai: But I guess everyone has their own little kinks. Like Naruto...He wants a vain emo prince in a gay pirate costume.
Naruto: SAI!
Sai: Have to say Uzumaki that I don't get you. I mean Sasuke is so vain that I bet he screams his own name in bed...
Naruto: You son of...Who would like to have sex with Sasuke anyway?
Sakura: I would.
Shizune: Me too.
Sai: Me three ♥
Izumo: Me four.
Tsunade: I'd hit it.
Kotetsu: Dude, I though you were straight.
Izumo: Come on. Is there any straight guy in Konoha who can honestly say that he isn't even little bit gay for Uchiha?
Kotetsu: Hey that's true. Okay, add me too.
Naruto: You all really scare me.
WTF Fanfic Quote of the Moment
QUOTE
"I nearly threw up in my mouth" exclaimed Sasuke, mentally scarred by the experience."You should do that!Except let her try and kiss you whilst you do!"laughed Naruto exitedly."That is WAY funny, and all the same way more creepy that that time at the preliminaries!"retorted Sasuke, remembering."uuughh! I feel so sorry for the shadow clones I made whilst we hid.I hear one of the sound genin got AIDS and CHLAMIDIA from Hayate"said Naruto pulling a face.