Dating/Sex in Society Today (I'm 16)
#21
Posted 01 October 2011 - 03:33 AM
^Adam Couple. KPOP couple <3 google them! They're like an anime couple I swear to God. Watch their show. PM me for link :]
#22
Posted 01 October 2011 - 03:41 AM
Now, I'm single, and just going with the flow. I maintain a very good friendship with a girl I love to death, but we never dated. We're best friends, but that's where it's staying for now.
Like you, I'm working on my flaws.
#23
Posted 01 October 2011 - 03:58 AM
Now, I'm single, and just going with the flow. I maintain a very good friendship with a girl I love to death, but we never dated. We're best friends, but that's where it's staying for now.
Like you, I'm working on my flaws.
My ex girlfriend and I were in a relationship for around that time, (5 - 6 months,) too, she also cheated on me/left me for the other guy.
For the second part i bolded, i completely can relate.
i'm just waiting for whatever to happen, if it doesn't work out, to get it over with, and to move on.
It kinda sucks, though. Considering the past two girls I was interesting in after my break up, ended up to be complete asses. Oh well.
†
#24
Posted 02 October 2011 - 09:44 PM
For the second part i bolded, i completely can relate.
i'm just waiting for whatever to happen, if it doesn't work out, to get it over with, and to move on.
It kinda sucks, though. Considering the past two girls I was interesting in after my break up, ended up to be complete asses. Oh well.
I've had one or two girls that were interested in me during high school, but I was too thick-headed to see it. Eventually they moved on. Flirted with one of them, ended up making out in a restaurant.. but. Eh.
My best friend and I, we've been friends for 8 years. She says, if we ever are meant to get together, it'll happen. I love her with all my heart, but its just platonic friendship love at this point.
#25
Posted 04 October 2011 - 06:16 AM
To answer your question Yoshimoya, there is nothing wrong with your way of thinking. in fact, I fully support your thinking, as I personally think that sex is something that should symbolize trust, baring your whole existence to your partner, showing that you trust your partner with your well being while at the same time showing that you can accept them regardless of their flaws.
I know I sounds idealistic but that is how I think and so far, I have no reason to regret it.
Love is not about admiring the strength or perfection of the person but to fully accept their shortcoming and weakness. - Me
Dragcave: (Mine and a Certain cat's): http://dragcave.net/user/MelisaArtemis
#26
Posted 04 October 2011 - 09:01 AM
My best friend and I, we've been friends for 8 years. She says, if we ever are meant to get together, it'll happen. I love her with all my heart, but its just platonic friendship love at this point.
Well don't give up man, good things happen to those who wait.
You never know, though. I once read something somewhere, and it said something like: "A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other.. maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever." So you know, you never know what can happen. Good luck though, I hope she returns your feelings.
†
#27
Posted 21 October 2011 - 07:13 AM
false, claims against society don't work like that; societies differ by region, so your generalization is invalid, and frankly very insulting.
also you're either a hardcore traditionalist that needs to get with the times or a time-traveler (which I very much doubt, going by your post).
You claim that our society treats budding relationships with a superficiality that is tactless, tired, and routine. You even bring up ridiculous statistics that represent your previous claims, those that you can 'safely claim' as accurate. Then you go and claim that relationships "back then" are more ideal than those now.
what?
Superficiality is only perpetuated by what the media is presenting it. Society cannot by changed from within, only outlying factors that act as it's influences can do so. And you fail to take into account that society's youth is very impressionable - that's what being young MEANS. You experience things, you grow from them, you learn from them. You cannot know right from wrong without experiencing them first. You do realize that we are not born with this mentality correct?
Also, your statistics, however facetious you intended them to be, only hurts your case. Highschool cannot be categorized as one being. It shouldn't even be attempted. It's impossible. And when you DO try to, you end up with ignorant generalizations and stereotypes and hurtful prejudices. You see what you did there, by generalizing highschools? You insulted about 90% of the youth which are currently residing in highschools. By the way, since I noticed that you maintained steady patterned signs of 'speshul snowflake' syndrome throughout your posts, I'm assuming that you allot yourself in the 10% of self-actualized individuals who are above all of the behavior you consider as 'superficial'? Just shooting in the dark here (unless that's slutty too, if so, pls forgive.)
And to your last point, I just cannot. You're bringing up "back then" as an ideal representation of your preferred society? Are you kidding me? Society "back then" was absolutely unforgiving on sexual freedom. It was considered horrible, feared, etc. Those who chose to go against the norm met punishment, backlash and ostracization. Do you think that's ideal? Something that we need now? Now that we can experience what we want without being judged?
Oh wait, there are people like you still around to judge. Nevermind, I thought we were free to use our bodies as we wish and not follow some type of agenda (like the good old "olden times" so loved) or suffer from prejudice. Silly slutty me!
LOL WHAT. contradictions errywhere.
You "fall into temptation"? What are you talking about, you're a human being with enough sense to control yourself aren't you? You should be able to use these great little brain mechanics, exclusive to us humans, such as LOGIC and REASONING, right? You are a young man, with a brain, yet you're using societal superficial stereotypes of men as an excuse to act like an animal. And then your first contradiction, "it's sad to see everyone aiming ..." and then later you state that you're "more mature". You should make up your mind about how you are and choose a side; stop stating something prior to a contradiction just for the sake of seeming unbiased. You go for the chick cause she's "hot" but then "you're more real"? You contradict what you claim about yourself with what you ultimately decide to do.
Second contradiction: you say "anyone in highschool..." would understand, but before, you stated that the majority of highschool students are "superficial and immature". What? Who represents the statistical group here? Or are you talking about that 10% that no1curr about? I need a calculator + adult.
Third and probably the worst yet, you state a type of media (i.e., rappers, etc.) that is negatively influencing the youth, but then you bring up another type of media (i.e., anime) as an ideal solution. Okay first off, yeah no, they're both media that influence the youth but representdifferent things. Rappers and obtaining large amounts of money in the least amount of time represents power and a type of success. Success is relative, completely subjective, one can have a big family and the other can have money but both can consider themselves successful. It's not up to you to decide for someone else which is and which is not. And anime is for entertainment. Fictional characters, fictional stories, fictional interaction - FICTION. It may be targeted towards a type of group, but it should not - god please don't - be taken and compared to real life.
In fact, I don't even know WHY you used Toradora as your ideal romance. I mean yeah, the animu is cute, the people in it are cute, and funny and outrageous - they may even seem like people you know in real life BUT they are mere caricatures of reality. NOTHING MORE. Furthurmore, is u srs with dat romance? Judging by your avatar, I'm assuming you ship Taiga x Ryuuji and thus are implying that that romantic story is idealistic. No. Taiga is severely abusive towards Ryuuji. I haven't seen it in a few years, but from what I remember she had an hourly penchant towards physically abusing him. Frankly she beats the kitten out of him day in and day out. And you cannot disregard that after you claim it is an "ideal" relationship - it's there in your defense, regardless of it being a running gag in 'slice-of-life' animu everywhere.
Also I'd like to point out that almost every single animu relationship is unrealistic because it portrays the woman as an emotional, physical batsh*t crazy animal. That's a major flaw in that type of media that cannot be overlooked. The woman is portrayed as being unstable, unable to express herself appropriately emotionally and thus physically abuses her male significant other. Then later, when it's all serious, and the scene takes on a heavier tone, the man is complete control of his emotions, words, actions, the girl - overall the whole situation. It's not realistic and I fear for the obligations your future gf will be expected to meet.
And to your last point - everyone cheats. Not just young... adults? What do you even mean, by examplifying your uncle? He's an adult. You cannot compare him to other older adults and say he's younger. It doesn't work like that. Once he's reached 18, he's considered an adult. But I digress, everyone and anyone can cheat. Cheating is not exclusive to age, but to the person him/herself. Maturity, on the otherhand, is based off actions, ideas, responsiblities, etc. - so yes I would say your uncle (and those who cheat) is immature.
Everyone just believe in sex and I can't even imagine any of the girl friends I know today knowing what the purest form of love is without sex involved. You don't NEED sex, at least I hope not... because to me I really value my virginity and I want it to be intimate for my whole life, not just some pleasure toy. OF COURSE I DO SOMETIMES but when I see the purest love in animes like Toradora, Clannad, any other dramatic/love romance movie (mostly foreign since americas so fond of sexual freedom) and in my family I simply forget the stupid ass pleasure that our shallow world wants and invests in so much today and desire the intimate true and pure love I see in other's relationships. No doubt physical attraction is a factor but it's definitely not primary and I lose my drive to find an intimate relationships because people commonly make looks a primary factor. MY WILL gets weak and I sometimes just want to mess around and you know.
Firstly, you're slut-shaming. Your friend can do what she wants, when she wants, with whomever she wants. Idk if you're even her friend; you don't accept her how she is, her choices, etc. and instead claim she has "internal issues."
Second, wow. Just wow. You consider being sexually active stupid? Again you're slut-shaming all those who choose to be just that. Hell, I feel insulted. I know the majority of this thread is agreeing with you, and that's great, but wow. I didn't think having sex made those who partake in it stupid.
Sure I get it, yes there is a particular novelty that comes with an individual's "first time" but that's just that, a 'novelty'. Where does this novelty come from? MEDIA. PARENTS. OLDER GENERATIONS. ETC. THOSE WHO INFLUENCE YOU. You said it yourself, society this society that - and yet you and those who slut-shame hold virginity and "first-times" so high on a pedastal that you forget who provided you with that pedastal and ladder in the first place. Why even put so much importance into something so simply... non-important? It's biology, science, our bodies react - that is all. There is no value in having broken a hymen, no value in meeting one's lips with another's for the first time. It's all biology. Those who chastise a person for breaking this "first" rule should look reconsider as to why they place so much value into a number.
However, I digress, you're also talking about sexual freedom in those who are merely experiencing it, not treating it as a lifestyle. In fact, in highschool? More likely than not, a student will want to experience something before deciding on it. Yeah I know right? How much experience does one person need right? Insatiable whores. Oh my god, and get this: ever heard of university? Yeah, I hear there are TONS of learning-sluts over there, yeah I know! All these learning-sluts want to get all educated (gasp I know, filthy disgusting whores) before deciding on majors (I KNOW. WTF majors? How much experience, education, etc. does one person need to make lasting and fulfilling choices? Jesus take the wheel~)
and anyway I'm not gonna go back to your animu examples, but I did lmao at "purest love." praying for your future gfs again.
And wut. Do you even go here? Amurikka is all about violence, awesome glorious death-ensured violence. Which I take note you don't have a problem with, hell you advocate it. Awesum. And those "mostly foreign" types of medium come from places that apparently love sex. (Ever heard of hentai? Yeah omg me neither, our glorious based nippon gods would never amirite?)
Okay, before I disect again, let me just say, I agree that the physical aspect does not completely make a true relationship, BUT it is NEEDED if you want to fully actualize your relationship. Look, there is no way of getting past it. If we are not physically attracted to someone, we cannot fully express and share ourselves and how we feel with that person. I know you're hoping for a 'lala-penguin sledding wee! laugh laugh giggle giggle omg that was fun, okay lub u nighty nite" situation, but that is not realistic. If you are a mature adult, you will understand that as an adult, you physically desire to express yourself, BUT what makes you so ready to do so maturely is that you expressed yourself as a youth. Do you understand? If you were a "superficial slut" and explored yourself physically and emotionally as a teen/young adult, you have gained enough experience to become self-actualized as a secure sexually confident adult.
So two things:
- If you feel urges, give into them. Get over this speshul-snowflake syndrome, and for the love of god, stop being so friggin ignorant and projecting your insecurities onto others. Your post is full of backpeddaling, contradictions and generalizations which are all red flags that show me you're insecure when dealing with sex and thus choose to use defense mechanisms when debating your claims.
- pls stop en generale. I'm offended that you just called me shallow, stupid, etc. just because I did what I did as a teen. Frankly I can't with how you're spewing all these judgmental opinions against "others" without realizing that it's their choice. Just as it is YOUR choice to wait. Do you see me attacking your choice to wait? No, I merely defended myself and others who are not here to do so. It's offensive, and this type of judgmental attitude is already prevalent enough in those who are in power (i.e., govt.; media; etc.) without your help. Like now, for instance, ever heard of Planned Parenthood? Oh sorry, you probably know it as Sluts-R-Us, with 100% Government Paid Specials on Abortions! as our lovely, factual and fair government officials do. But regardless, I won't even go into it because you'll probably bring up your pseudo-statistics again.
Anyway I'm not sorry my post was this long. I'm tired of dealing with slut-shaming everywhere I go, especially from those who know nothing about something they haven't even tried for themselves and choose to attack those who do.
And OP, I agree with some of your views alright? I agree that love and a deep connection is important even a necessity for a long-time relationship, and I more than demand it from a steady partner. But then again, I say steady. I and many of my fellow slutty sluts of Amurikka are not as lucky as the speshul snowflakes who can find their one-twu-lubb their very first time.
#28
Posted 21 October 2011 - 09:16 AM
There's always many facets of an opinion - as it's always said, life is not just make up of white and blacks...there are shades of greys in between.
There are those who prefer to wait and are cautious about going along in the sex / feelings things (like OP) and there are those who prefer to live for the moment and experience everything possible to 'learn" as pp.
Does not mean one is right or the other is wrong. It's just different choices people made.
OP posts was about feeling weird because he chooses to wait and not to fall into the 'fashion' that it is today, to jump into bed.
OP, you are NOT weird. And I bow to your way of seeing things like you do.
At 16, you are going what is known as identity search, and I am deeply impressed by the way you are going about things - reflecting and analysing and LEARNING from observing, instead of blindly jumping into what all your peers are doing. (I hope you do so in all aspects as well, but it seems that you DO.) The one who resist to pressure - whether be it peer or media or whatever - is the strong ones.
You still have time to go to that stage of experiencing sex, trust me, there's no rush! When you're ready, you're ready, whether be it tomorrow or in 1 year or in 3 years....YOU are the sole decidor of what you do!
In meantime, keep a positive attitude and outlook about life and people, get to know yourself, gear yourself to be stronger (academically, socially...).
Best of luck!
Madz
#29
Posted 21 October 2011 - 01:03 PM
Wow. I hope you feel better now. One person down, 7 billion left to go.
However don't presume to speak for those who choose not to speak up, as you said in your preamble. Or assign a "large amount of ignorance" to all the other posters in this thread. Because in, this case, I think the sum of the replies carries much more weight than the initial post.
Yoshimoya may have shown his youth/immaturity/naivete in posting questions, but the replies have been serious, thoughtful and helpful. And I have agreed with most. If the kid isn't getting good advice at home, and he has enough sense to ask for opinions online, then perhaps some of these remarks will help him make a better decision when he comes to his next intersection of opportunity and desire.
There is no point in "dissecting" the finer points of what he said. He's a teen. That emotional landscape changes with the seasons. What worried him at the start of this high school year will be forgotten by New Years. But the advice offered here speaks to making life decisions that will outlast the bumpy years of high school. Whether he listens or not is up to him. Because ultimately there is only one person that you can change in the world, and that is yourself.
On that note, the next time you decide to bash someone about immaturity, leave out the "awesums" and "amerrikas" and "speshul snowflakes." It's awfully hard to correct immaturity with...well...immaturity.
#30
Posted 21 October 2011 - 03:41 PM
I'm not gonna lie, I look at a girl's behind and I get mesmerized and hypnotized until I act like a goof... Looks serve some importance to me, and as much as I'd like to act like a Martyr and say "It's all about personality", if I'm not physically attracted to the person then why would I go out with them?
There's a difference between a "girl", a "friend" and a "girlfriend"...
A girl (metaphorically speaking) is someone of the opposite gender I would find attractive, but I don't know them and therefore would be in a spectator-esque role.
A friend is someone I can communicate with, I trust them and I like their personality, but I don't find them physically attractive and therefore would be in the "friend-zone".
A girlfriend is a combination of the two previous factors in a girl that I like, I find them physically attractive and I can rely on them when it counts.
THAT IS WHAT A GIRLFRIEND IS, SHE IS NOT YOUR PLAYTHING THAT YOU CAN HAVE SEX WITH SHE IS MORE THAN THAT!!!
...
My name is Densetsu-Kun, thank you for listening...
#31
Posted 21 October 2011 - 04:06 PM
Sigh... It's comments like these that get me angry with the world... Why can't you just respect his opinion and stop acting like such a pretentious git?
I SEVERELY DISAGREE with your opinion and as we speak, I'm fighting back the urge to tell you to keep it in your pants and actually get to know the chick before you bone her brains out, but I'm not gonna do that... (A bit counter-productive because I just wrote that down, but whatever...).
I also saw that you called him a traditionalist for saying that waiting for the right time is more ideal than going for trial and MANY errors...
If waiting for the one I'll sleep with and wake up with is traditionalist... Then get me a Torah, give me a Rabbi's hat, forgive me for my late Barmitzvah and book me some Hebrew classes, because I'm a Traditionalist and proud!
Mazel Tov, betch!
#32
Posted 21 October 2011 - 04:17 PM
Uhhhhhhh, Krisk is a woman, and, yes, whilst her words are kinda tough, they are her words indeed, but we have to respect those words because that's how it is. Oh, also, put me down in the category of getting to know a girl over looks and sexuality, but my points were made early in this thread.
Edited by Anguyen92, 21 October 2011 - 04:20 PM.
#33
Posted 21 October 2011 - 04:28 PM
Ooh boy, is there egg on my face O.o
But my point still stands, have your opinion but don't be a douche about it ¬_¬
#34
Posted 21 October 2011 - 04:50 PM
Seriously, as much as this site tries to remain neutral, sometimes I think it can go too far. General rule: If you wouldn't say it about Hinata or to an NH-er, then don't say it to another real-life human about their own personal issues. Because if Krisk had directed this rant at a NH fan in the debate thread, 100 people would be all over it saying it was bashing.
I think h/her post strayed far away from a respectable, respectful opinion.
Edited by tricksie, 21 October 2011 - 04:51 PM.
#35
Posted 21 October 2011 - 04:53 PM
Seriously, as much as this site tries to remain neutral, sometimes I think it can go too far. General rule: If you wouldn't say it about Hinata or to an NH-er, then don't say it to another real-life human about their own personal issues. Because if Krisk had directed this rant at a NH fan in the debate thread, 100 people would be all over it saying it was bashing.
I think h/her post strayed far away from a respectable, respectful opinion.
Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together... For tricksie, otherwise known as, THE TRUTH
#36
Posted 21 October 2011 - 05:34 PM
Thanks for such a riveting counter-argument, I can tell that you are very intelligent individual with a lot to say that can benefit the world with your amazing debating skills :3
:sarcasm:
#37
Posted 21 October 2011 - 05:38 PM
:sarcasm:
also OMG TY FOR THAT NOTICE AT THE BOTTOM I HAD NO IDEA
go pls
Edited by krisk, 21 October 2011 - 05:43 PM.
#38
Posted 21 October 2011 - 05:47 PM
I SEVERELY DISAGREE with your opinion and as we speak, I'm fighting back the urge to tell you to keep it in your pants and actually get to know the chick before you bone her brains out, but I'm not gonna do that... (A bit counter-productive because I just wrote that down, but whatever...).
First, I think this is out of line. Second, I'm going to have to ask you and everyone else to try to calm down because I see this getting out of hand very fast, and if it does, this thread will be closed immediately.
Third, I'll never understand this trait of message boards. The stating of something then crossing it out with a line or saying something, but then saying your not going do that. By writing it all you might as well have, just as crossing out a line doesn't change that you said it, adding, "but I won't" just doesn't elimate or undo what you wrote.
While disagree with some aspects of the post, the follwing is not one of them. There is a distinction between respecting someone's opinion and respecting their right to hold one. She is under no obligation to repsect anything he says, just as you have no obligation to respect hers. You each have the right to express your opinion, but there is no obligation to respect it's contents.
People say things all the time that I don't not respect. I will respect their right to say it not matter how much I may hate it, but I have no obligation to anyone to respect them or anything they say.
Seriously, as much as this site tries to remain neutral, sometimes I think it can go too far. General rule: If you wouldn't say it about Hinata or to an NH-er, then don't say it to another real-life human about their own personal issues. Because if Krisk had directed this rant at a NH fan in the debate thread, 100 people would be all over it saying it was bashing.
I think h/her post strayed far away from a respectable, respectful opinion.
I disagree, I think they have right to express an opinion, but yeah, per the rules of the board they don't have the right to be a disrespectful while doing it.
#39
Posted 21 October 2011 - 05:56 PM
also keep what in my pants? i can't take anything out of them. are you talking about my panties? that's kind of sexual harassment-y, bro :l
Edited by krisk, 21 October 2011 - 05:57 PM.
#40
Posted 21 October 2011 - 06:03 PM
You have to be respectful of others and their opinions if you expect to get any respect back, and you have to do it without getting personal. krisk did cross the personal line a number of times with some personal digs.
So at this point on everyone chill out or as Nate said this thread will be closed, as it's derailing into an area than is undesirable.
also keep what in my pants? i can't take anything out of them. are you talking about my panties? that's kind of sexual harassment-y, bro :l
And krisk stop. You're not making the situation any better with the smart-alek comments and image/pics.
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