Whirlpool Country and other stories
#21
Posted 02 November 2009 - 04:37 PM
Hope the wait for next won't be so long...
#22
Posted 02 November 2009 - 04:44 PM
#23
Posted 02 November 2009 - 05:38 PM
#24
Posted 02 November 2009 - 06:51 PM
only thing id change or at least advise caution against happening too often was Karins reaction. Karin is not the type to fangirl Sasuke in public like that. In point of fact shes quite admant about keeping such things private.
still i can roll with her slipping like that in public once as a comedic moment, especially with Sakura =^__^=
Actually Im curious to see Karins role in the future of this story. I still think shes going to have a major affect on Sasuke in the upcoming chapters. an affect that few people are going to be abel to give her credit for.
Shes got Sasukes trust and that is a major thing with that character.
good stuff
..(^)> PENGUIN!!!!
C(...)D
..m.m
Training with a sannin 2 1/2 years
new pair of gloves 20 ryou
the look on your best friend, and former sensei's face's when you cause a small earth quake. Princeless
Catsis Fan Fiction
#25
Posted 03 November 2009 - 03:12 AM
A lot of the other potential relationships I introduce in the fic (or other male/female characters) are being introduced primarily for the purposes of developing the NaruSaku, often with a secondary purpose of plot development.
Right now in my outline, there is only one person who will be introduced (but has already been named in the fic) that will be after Naruto, and is in the fic for that purpose alone. However, that situation will become more awkward for Sakura than anything else.
#26
Posted 03 November 2009 - 03:14 AM
*FANBOYS*
#27
Posted 03 November 2009 - 07:06 PM
SasuKarin manifesto
SasuKarin FC
both sites provide some remarkable insights into what Ive rapidly coem to the realization of is an amazing amount of development in a remarkabley short time.
..(^)> PENGUIN!!!!
C(...)D
..m.m
Training with a sannin 2 1/2 years
new pair of gloves 20 ryou
the look on your best friend, and former sensei's face's when you cause a small earth quake. Princeless
Catsis Fan Fiction
#28
Posted 03 November 2009 - 08:22 PM
Oh good luck with that. Dragon Age will rob not only your time but also your sanity. That's just how good Bioware's games are.
- Albert Einstein
You can find me here on FF.net.
Each topic brought to you with at least 1 spelling error.
#29
Posted 04 November 2009 - 08:14 AM
Edited by Newkerz, 04 November 2009 - 08:16 AM.
The family that couldn't be.
[post='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EItApJttbY']An Underrated Song Worth Listening[/post]
#30
Posted 04 November 2009 - 09:35 PM
Hehehe, I think I know who that someone is XD
I look forward to that encounter, Jast. It will be a most splendid beta-reading, I'm sure!
Other than that, I'm sort of hoping for more interaction between Kushina and Sakura (I think I mentioned this once already), but I know Naruto's your main focus at the moment. That and maybe a little bit of Kakashi and Rin and how they're going on with either trying to salvage their damaged relationship or not.
I would say more, but being your beta kind of makes it hard for me to go on without revealing spoilers. I'll just hush for now. Looking forward to the future updates. Let me know if you hit road blocks; I'll happily help in anyway I can!
#31
Posted 12 November 2009 - 05:22 PM
Indeed. I played it for a week straight. Today is the first break I've had, really.
Thanks for the links. I've looked into them a bit, but will probably use them more later when Sasuke returns in the story.
Naruto is going to be leading more than just 3-man teams, he's going to be leading entire platoons. While I have made Hanabi his apprentice, I don't want to go -too- in-depth with it, for fear of distracting from the main points of the story. Pretty much all other characters are being introduced into this story for Naruto to use as stepping stones in his growth. There is nothing stopping me from going back once this story is done and writing little side-stories to flesh out this fic a little more (even if it is unlikely). I've already got Hindsight::Foresight going, which is a companion fic to WPC in its own right.
Thats not to say I'm saying no to the Hanabi/Konohamaru = Sakura/Naruto bit, but while the parallel thing works well for Kishimoto - I'm not him. I've done my best in trying to keep the characters as 'in-character' as possible while letting them mature. Some have argued that I've had characters mature too fast - Naruto especially - but I just chalk most of them up to people being able to easily forget that this fic has spanned several months time, even if it doesn't seem like it. It's harder to notice the passage of time if it's not explicitly written, but doing that can mess up the flow of the fic if it isn't a LARGE passage of time. If I was a good artist at all, I'd have probably made this a doujin, just because it's so much easier to display changes and passage of time with pictures.
Back to Hanabi - I'm still trying to flesh out some of her scenes, but she already strikes me as mature enough (forced to be mature, not naturally)in demeanor to where it doesn't matter if she has someone her age around or not. Of course, the interaction itself would be interesting to write, but like I stated previously, this is a Naruto story, not a Hanabi story. Hanabi will be there to help Naruto understand what is required of a person who holds the entire future of an individual in his hands. If he can't train her well, the first time she encounters an enemy, she will be at risk. That scares the kittenens out of Naruto.
So far WPC has been rather happy-go-lucky with a bit of drama thrown in. Thats gonna change as the upcoming war approaches - WPC might take a bit of a dark turn to some. I haven't decided if there will be any major deaths, but don't put it past me. (Just know that Naruto, Kushina, Sakura and Hanabi have too much plot-armor to die.)
I look forward to that encounter, Jast. It will be a most splendid beta-reading, I'm sure!
Other than that, I'm sort of hoping for more interaction between Kushina and Sakura (I think I mentioned this once already), but I know Naruto's your main focus at the moment. That and maybe a little bit of Kakashi and Rin and how they're going on with either trying to salvage their damaged relationship or not.
Yes, I'm sure you remember who that someone is. So hush.
I try to include a bit of side-interaction with each chapter, though some chapters I deem more important than others, and I don't want to take away from the flow - unless I need to pass time. I made a comment at the end of one of my later chapters that Kushina would be taking more of a backseat in the coming chapters, and got a bit of backlash because people enjoy how well I handle the Kushina-Naruto dynamic, and it's almost exactly how many of them would envision it being. So I'll probably renege on that and keep her visible for a while. There will definitely be some Kushina-Sakura interaction, as well as at least one Kushina-Sasuke scene. Kakashi and Rin will get mostly background-style moments, I think I might have a bit of trouble writing anything major for the two of them. It's still early for them, though.
As an update - I've re-written quite a lot of chapter 8, so when I post chapter 23 I'll make a comment to go take a look at chapter 8 as well. I didn't like some of the terminology I used in the original version of the chapter, and I also felt I could have fleshed out the Yuugao-Naruto relationship a bit better before I clarified it in a later chapter. When I do it later, I felt like I kinda 'dumped' it in the story... but I had wanted to flesh it out more than I did before that point. (I think it was chap 12 or 13? I have to go back and look, I'll be editing it soon enough). So the Yuugao-Naruto interaction gets clarified and given a foundation here now.
Chapter 23 is coming along nicely. The council scene is mostly done, and its been hard to write. Need to keep it flowing without it getting boring, and when your main purpose for the meeting is to rattle off statistics and reports, it feels like sitting in a math class. *yawn*
#32
Posted 12 November 2009 - 07:51 PM
I too would love to see more Kushina and more Kushina Naruto Sakura interaction. Also Inos interaction with Kushina must not be left out either as Ino will almost certainly have an opinion of the mother who disappeard from her little brothers life.
id like to see some mroe of Yuugao shes too good a character in this story to just shove aside. Some good stuff coming up cant wait.
..(^)> PENGUIN!!!!
C(...)D
..m.m
Training with a sannin 2 1/2 years
new pair of gloves 20 ryou
the look on your best friend, and former sensei's face's when you cause a small earth quake. Princeless
Catsis Fan Fiction
#33
Posted 13 November 2009 - 03:00 AM
Why don't you try collaborating with Ladygt then?
The family that couldn't be.
[post='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EItApJttbY']An Underrated Song Worth Listening[/post]
#34
Posted 13 November 2009 - 01:41 PM
#35
Posted 14 November 2009 - 04:39 AM
Edited by Newkerz, 17 November 2009 - 11:16 AM.
The family that couldn't be.
[post='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EItApJttbY']An Underrated Song Worth Listening[/post]
#36
Posted 19 December 2009 - 08:49 PM
I'm not getting fanfiction.net update notices though, so my gut tells me no one is going to notice this latest update. Unless if the update notices are just being delayed, but it's rather odd for that to happen.
#37
Posted 22 December 2009 - 03:15 AM
Well, either way, the story continues to be awesome. Now...if only I can get my arse in gear and get crackin' on some of my fanfics. It's the holiday/winter break for crying out loud! I have no excuses right now! :/
#38
Posted 31 December 2009 - 02:42 AM
Specifically chapter 18 and 22
its mainly along the lines of an earlier review where we discussed caution with suffixes.
In this case though its Karin. Much as Sakura never calls Naruto by a suffix to denote their closeness. Neither does Karin. In all of her appearances and when addressing Sasuke she never ever addresses him as Sasuke kun.
It was an intesting trend I noted with her. Especially given how everyone allways ((wrongly)) compares her to Sakuras fangirlism. She doesnt use suffixes with his name.
you havent abused it so as Is aid it was jsut something i noticed and wanted to make sure I brought it to your atttention.
..(^)> PENGUIN!!!!
C(...)D
..m.m
Training with a sannin 2 1/2 years
new pair of gloves 20 ryou
the look on your best friend, and former sensei's face's when you cause a small earth quake. Princeless
Catsis Fan Fiction
#39
Posted 31 December 2009 - 01:50 PM
Naruto will use -chan with Sakura when he's feeling playful, otherwise from now on he's not really going to bother.
Sakura will use -kun if she's feeling 'in the mood', or using that 'dripping with venom before the kill' tone.
Karin so far has used -kun as a more of a teasing/affection thing towards Sasuke so far, or at least that's what I'm hoping to imply. Eventually, it will probably be dropped altogether, but while they'll both still be in the story, having them near each other at the same time isn't going to happen -that- often.
Just beat me over the head and remind me if it seems like it gets out of control in any particular chapter, k? lol
#40
Posted 31 December 2009 - 05:59 PM
If i may suggest. One thing you might throw in, in a later chapter is maybe having Sakura note that about Karin when they discuss Sasuke ((and I can assure you in the context of the story they almsot assuredly would talk about him)) never uses suffixes and then have her note to herself how she never used Suffixes with Naruto.
itd be an interesting contrast between the two. Ive always thought Sakura and Karin would have a really great interaction between them character wise due to their strong personalities.
..(^)> PENGUIN!!!!
C(...)D
..m.m
Training with a sannin 2 1/2 years
new pair of gloves 20 ryou
the look on your best friend, and former sensei's face's when you cause a small earth quake. Princeless
Catsis Fan Fiction
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