First off, the video was from me
Now, about what you wrote: I'd say just stop seeing him. I admit, I know NOTHING about how to deal with exes (since I've never had a chance to even break up with someone, if you know what I mean). But still, even with this...I'm sorry, this is rif***ingdiculous of him. I don't know him, I don't want to pass judgment on why he's in the situation he is in now, and I'm certainly not in a much better position in terms of finances and employment, but I can safely say he is being childish and inconsiderate of you. The only thing I think was justifiable from what you told me was you getting him that job. That is what friends should do. And it's okay if just occasionally they need to crash at your place. However, I find it inexcusable of him to have you pay HIS insurance. He should just save his money until he can afford to drive and fix the car. He doesn't like his roommate? I've been roommates with complete douche bags before and had to stay with them for a year; he should just do everything he can to give the other guy space and just not talk to him unless it's necessary. And what's the beef with his mom? Does he even have a beef with her, or does he have this extreme grown-man mentality which oddly enough he is not applying to you? If it's the former, he may have to bury the hatchet somehow, and if it's the later, he needs a reality check. And in asking you all of these favors, has he ever considered that you have your own problems? Ever thanked you? Cause to me, it looks more like he is taking advantage of you. He is asking things of you that I would never ask my friends, nor any ex-girlfriend I may have in the future. I'm sorry, but you HAVE to tell him enough is enough. And when I say that, don't try to be nice: say EXACTLY what's on your mind. I don't care how he reacts (short of hitting you and a couple of other things); a mean, nasty put-down that's in fact a reality check is EXACTLY what he needs. If his feelings are hurt, if he feels he's all alone, too bad. I wouldn't expect him to react positively, but you're just going to have to act tough. Hopefully, the outcome will be that you see him again someday and he finally has his life together. That's where you apologize for being so blunt to him that day, and if he's a decent person, he'll say you were right, he needed that, and the only one he's angry at is himself for treating you like that. I'm sorry but I think this is the best for both you and him.
Ok, first thing first... Shauna... I know you're nice but this is ridiculous. You were NOT helping him, you were SPOILING him. If you want him to stand up on his two feets, you HELP him find a job not FIND a job for him, nor are you supposed to do most of the things that you did for him. You were simply encouraging him to lean on you and he's practically living off his life depending on you like a beggar. Sorry to say that but I think its true.
My advice, just stop doing him favors. He strikes me as someone who does NOT know when to stop asking and start trying himself. You do him 1 more favor and I guarantee you, he WILL be more daring and he WILL be asking for more outrageous favor. He want to sleep in the bus stop, leave him, let him be. If he can't man up and use what little of his brain to just go back, take his car key and leave again, then he does NOT deserve a help.
Thanks for the replies and advice guys. I really needed to know if I was right in my decision to kind of just cut him loose at this point.
@ Kodachi -He has thanked me. Many many times, and expressed how grateful he is and has been for my help. But at some point enough is enough. I can only help so much. As you said, he needs to stand up on his own. And I've called the car insurance company, and removed my name as the payer on the account.
@ BL - He was actually trying to find a job himself for *months*, and I only found the job for him because I happened to walk into a store, and saw a 'Hiring Immediately' sign up, and so I told him about it and he got the job. But you're right too. I'm going to stop doing him favours, and just let him try to work out his issues on his own. It's simply too exhausting to keep trying to help him otherwise.
The only thing that I will more than likely have to keep doing for him, is to keep picking him up from work when he works late, until he can get a new car. Because as long as he's working, he'll get a paycheck, and once he get's paid he can then pay *me* back all the money that he owes me. Without that job he can't do that, and I REALLY want and need my money back.
Also, I'm really, REALLY getting worried about your insomnia problems. Granted, I've had my share of sleepless nights in college, but back then I was doing something productive. This is really not okay for you to prolong the problem, especially with you driving or being disturbed late at night. If I were you, I'd suggest going to bed very early every day until you start feeling better ( I know there are a bunch of games and shows you love, but I think a break from them would be good for you at least for now), tell your family and friends you do not want to be disturbed unless it's an absolute emergency, and get a doctor to prescribe something for you. Also, I'd recommend you go to a gym and sign up for an exercise class; right now, nothing major, just stretching and maybe some tredmill; people who exercise even moderately usually sleep better. Trust me, I remember going 1 day without sleep and then trying to drive (DAMN YOU BULLDOZER!!!). I don't want that to be you.
So, please do take care of yourself.
Thanks for the concern that is very sweet of you, and also for the advice on how to get more and better sleep
And I think that I know why I've been getting more and more tired each day, apart from the fact that I average about 4-5 hours of sleep each night. I believe that my iron count has been falling low again, as the last time that I felt this tired, it was because my anemia had gotten more severe. And the last time I ended up having to be hospitalized, because according to the doctor my anemia had gotten 'mortally low'. I didn't even know that anemia could be considered a 'mortal/fatal' thing, if your iron count dropped too low >.>
So, say the average person's iron count is like 50. At the time I was hospitalized, my iron count was down to 5 =_=
So, I'm going to go out and re-supply my vitamin stock, which I haven't done in a while. I have to get iron, multi-vitamins, calcium, and citrate. I just HAATTEEE having to take pills of ANY kind, but I guess I've allowed things to slip for too long. Just gonna have to have to suck it up again, because I have absolutely NO interest in having to go to the hospital again. I've had to do that WAY too many times in my life already, and I do not want >.>!
