Maybe they kidnapped his cat.
I still believe NS is the most likely, mostly because of its getting Minato and Kushina's approval, and because it's the only one I can see actually working (but that's more subjective). However it's sad Kishi still feels like he has to drag his dramu to the very end, making all the wannabe canon pairings look bad because he wants to pander to everyone.
Still Narusaku is the less despicable one, IMO. SasuSaku and SasuKarin are just horrible, he doesn't deserve their love (and I say that as a Sasuke fan), NaruHina is less morally wrong but it still rubs me the wrong way (going suicidal for a dude who otherwise doesn't care much about you, not even in a friendly way is weird and unnatural and crazy and a bit pathetic, and I say that as someone who likes Hinata a lot). NaruSasu is bad too, as I can't empathise with Naruto on that matter. To me back in part one Shika, Kiba and Chouji looked more like friends to Naruto than Sasuke ever did...
Kishi should just have been more straightforward. By trying to keep things seemingly ambiguous, he just makes thing bad and damage his characters.
That said 693 didn't surprize me, as Sakura hadn't shown any sign of giving up on her love for Sasuke. she has just been shown to be more and more fond of Naruto. Maybe it's a turning point to resolve that issue and kill SS for good.
Still you gotta love Sasuke's brutal honesty. He often voices my feel regarding this manga.
Still doesn't change the face that he is the biggest Douchebag on the Narutoverse planet.