Jwolf's Wildly Inaccurate Week 2 Predictions!This week's predictions brought to you by coffee. Ah, coffee. People who don't like coffee are the devil.
Again, predicted winner italicized.
Konoha Shinobi (Sir Whirly, 1-0) vs. Fire the fatman PLZ (Illmatic, 1-0)-Konoha Shinobi favored by ~5.5
Starting here with an upset. I think Carson is gonna have to throw a ton to keep the Bengals in the game, and I like both Steves (Smith Carolina flavor and Breaston) to have better games than the projections say. It pains me to pick against CHRISJOHNSON!!!!!!1!, but color me skeptical that David Garrard gets even half of what he did last week.
Zatties! (Zatren6, 0-1) vs. Leatherbacks (Nick Soapdish, 0-1)-Zatties! favored by ~2
Picking a smaller upset here if you go by the numbers. I like all of Z's N'Awlins plays (Brees, Defense) as well as Ahmad Bradshaw, but I feel that "Brett Favre's Magical Elderly Gunslinging Show" puts on a much better performance this week and Jonathon Stewart gets good numbers against Tampa. It comes down to the supporting cast - I feel better about Steve Smith (NYG)/Austin Collie/Robert Meachem/Jahvid Best than I do Brandon Marshall/Jeremy Maclin/Brandon Lloyd/Thomas Jones.
The Golden Thumbs (Rick, 1-0) vs. Paradoxes (Paradox Jast, 0-1)-The Golden Thumbs favored by ~9.5
Can't go against the Aussie here. Green Bay's D against that putrid Buffalo offense? Peyton Manning? Even LaDanian looks good this week. McNabb projected for 21? I like the guy, but that's a lot to ask for.
Fumbles (Nate River, 1-0) vs. Gama Warriors (Nee-sama, 0-1)-Gama Warriors favored by ~2.5
"Paging Mike Sims-Walker, paging Mike Sims-Walker. Mike Sims-Walker, the season has already started!" Nate is gonna need him to show up, because in a close battle like this every last point is crucial. I feel that Minnesota will throw the ball more on Miami, and All-Day won't be able to offset the difference in the WR corps, giving a narrow win to Nee-sama.
The Generals (Nuclear Raven, 0-1) vs. Jersey Shore (Mik3, 0-1)-Jersey Shore favored by ~14.5
Um. I can't really think of anything that isn't borne out in the projections already. Losing Ryan Grant for the year was such a blow to Nuclear Raven.
Boldin Showers (True, 0-1) vs. Tokyo Raiders (roninmedia, 1-0)-Tokyo Raiders favored by ~16
See comment about projections above. Is Shonn Greene already in danger of losing his starting job to LT?
Sparky McRandomsons (jwolf0, 1-0) vs. Dark Wulves (Burning_Wulf, 1-0)-Sparky McRandomsons favored by ~11.5
The Arian Foster bandwagon rolls on, joined by a potentially tasty Jamaal Charles matchup at Cleveland (if Mangini ever gets his head out of his butt, anyway). Romo and Andre Johnson should be enough to offset any surprises from Philip Rivers and Greg Jennings.
Pick record (Season): 5-2
QUOTE ("Down Goes Brown")
(For the younger readers, "HMV" and "Sam The Record Man" were record stores.)
(For the younger readers, a "record store" was a building that you had to go to when you wanted to buy music.)
(For the younger readers, "buying music" was the way we acquired it, since we couldn't just… you know what, let's just get back to the Bowen song. Stupid kids, you ruin everything.)
Be the Ultimate Ninja! Or Reaper! Or Zombie Killer... or something. Play Billy Vs. SNAKEMAN!
But to be fair he needs the guy more than I do haha. I guess I'll give the Dallas players another week to see if they can do better, along with Demaryius Thomas, who should make his debut against Seattle.
