423 replies to this topic

[SakuNaruLover]

yeah, I would love a teaser

[Jin]

Hm... does anyone want a teaser scene for the next chapter? I've got a few scenes written already, and may have more done shortly. This is turning into a slightly longish chapter, however, so perhaps putting out a teaser would make sense...

That would be cool. Truth be told your fan fic is how I found this website. Someone had something about your fan fic on the Naruto boards on IMDb and I started reading it on another website till I got to a chapter that your author notes said had to be edited for that particular site cause of its rules. Since I am against censorship I took your advice there to come read it here. Your story has literally sucked me in. I read the entire thing in a about a day or day and a half. Really look forward to more.

[desaix]

Sorry I took so long getting this spoiler out -- haven't been on the computer with the fic on it today until just now (and I've only got a few minutes before dinner, so I won't have any time to work on it at all. Sigh). Here goes.

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

(this may or may not be the first scene -- I'm flipping a couple scenes around, most likely, and I don't know if this will be it or the one that starts in Blossom will be)


It took several days, but finally Naruto, Sakura, and Hanabi were 'allowed' to have an audience with Kiba and Hinata. Sakura found it slightly amusing that she needed to make special arrangements with her renter in order to visit the condo she owned, but she said nothing about it to anyone -- only Ino would understand, and the blond girl would likely be more angry about it than she was.

Hanabi, however, had been growing increasingly impatient and irritable over the course of the week. To make matters worse, she wasn't allowed to bring Inari, Adaha, or Umiko with her -- they had tried to accompany her, but some members of the Branch line of the family stopped them from entering the building in which Hinata lived. Those Branch members glared at her with disdain, and a few years back she would have used their seals against them for such treatment. The fact that she restrained herself this time may have bought her some points, but she was unaware of it as they climbed the stairs to the second floor condo.

It wasn't helping Hanabi's mood that Naruto was acting wierder than usual. She had asked Sakura about it, since the pink-haired girl -- even now -- would normally 'discipline' her lover with a blow to the head for acting up like he was. Sakura was merely rolling her eyes at his antics, however, and said 'He's just been out too long, that's all.' What that meant, Hanabi didn't know, but she was still getting frustrated with the whole business.

"What's the big idea of making us wait so long, Hinata-nee-chan?" Hanabi griped once the five of them were seated -- Naruto, Sakura, and herself on a couch while Kiba and Hinata shared a loveseat across from them. A few other chairs around the room -- and some not really hidden but still out of eyeshot paperwork -- made it obvious that this was the war room for Hinata's side of the Hyuuga faction, but the seating was more comfortable than they should have expected. "And why can't my lovers be with me when we meet?"

Hinata and Kiba shared a look. Kiba gave a barely perceptible sniff, and nodded. "We're sorry, Hanabi-chan," he eventually replied. "But security has had to be pretty tight, lately... and quite frankly, we're not sure whose side you're on."

"But Naruto-sempai was vouching for me," Hanabi pointed out. "I know that, whether you trust me or not, you like him. Why did it take so long?"

Hinata was looking at her sister oddly. "You've become a lot more expressive lately, sister. When you left town, you were so much like mother I was almost afraid of you."

Hanabi flushed. "Well... Naruto-sempai and Inari-chan have been helping me open up a lot, and... well, Adaha and Umiko-chan's presence in my life make it difficult to hide my emotions entirely."

"To answer your question," Kiba continued, still not sure what to make of Hanabi. He also wasn't sure what to make of Naruto, whose attention seemed to be wandering quite a bit. In fact, the young man looked like he would be literally bouncing off the walls if Sakura wasn't holding him down with a hand on the inside of his thigh. "We've had quite a difficult time with Hyuuga-sama's attempts on our lives, lately, and it makes us suspicious of anyone who wants to see us. She's had assassins impersonate the Hokage, herself, in an attempt to kill us."

Hinata smiled at her lover. "Kiba-kun saved us both that first time, thanks to his nose. We've been a lot more cautious since then. However, he's never been able to, ahem, 'smell' your lovers, sister, so he couldn't be certain of their identity. That is why we only allowed the three of you to visit."

"Well, I'm glad we finally got the chance to see you," Sakura replied, stroking Naruto's thigh to passify him, and doing a good job of it. Hanabi still looked a little put out, but she supposed she understood her sister's reasoning. "Naruto wants to get this whole mess with your clan sorted out, Hinata-chan, and we've got some important information that might help with that."

"Oh?" Hinata asked, her voice taking a different -- stronger -- tone. Kiba recognized it as her 'faction leader' voice, and grimmaced. He'd been hoping that they had come as friends -- especially as Hinata had been unable to take many 'social' visitors for some time -- but it looked as if this would be another business meeting, after all. "And what information is that?"

Sakura took a deep breath, as this was going to be a difficult conversation. "Well... I've been conducting some genetic tests on the Hyuuga clan, recently, using Hanabi-chan as my prime example. I also had a stroke of fortune thanks to the appearance of Adaha, a Hyuuga from before the byakuugan was, um, completed -- it gave me a baseline to compare to. And what I've found is disturbing, but may lead to a compromise solution between your faction and your father's."

Hanabi and Hinata both blinked at that, looking equally surprised. When the pair wore the same facial expression -- and the same hairstyle as they now wore -- it was easy to see the resemblence between them. Had they been born the same year, they would have been identical twins, it looked like. "What have you found?" Hinata asked, recovering from her surprise.

"More than a century of inbreeding is starting to cause serious problems inside your genetic structure," Sakura explained, taking a deep breath. "Without bringing in fresh blood from outside of the clan, genetic defects will start showing up in great numbers within the next couple of generations. They may have already started, in fact."

Kiba looked overjoyed. If this were true, Hiashi should have no argument to his daughters marrying and having children from outside of the clan, which would drop most of the conflict they had with each other. Hinata, however, noticed how solemn Hanabi was, and how serious Sakura still looked, and knew that wasn't the whole thing.

"There is a 'but,' of course," she said, signalling for Sakura to continue.

"There is a 'but,'" the pink-haired woman agreed. "A serious one, too, and it affects you more than Hanabi-chan, because of your choice of lovers."

Kiba's expression turned angry at that. "What? What's wrong with her and me being lovers, huh? You just said she needs to have children with people outside of the clan!"

Sakura looked unphased, despite Kiba's bared fangs. After all, she had been around Naruto when kyuubi had much sharper fangs showing on him, and had learned never to be intimidated by them. In fact, considering the cases she most often saw bared fangs, she was feeling a little uncomfortably turned-on. "I did say that," she replied. "And the problem isn't you, specifically, Kiba-san. It is your clan's blood that is the problem."

Kiba flinched. "My clan's... blood?"

"It comes down to the biggest genetic difference between the old Hyuuga clan and the new Hyuuga clan," Sakura sighed. "Had the Hyuuga's not, er, completed the byakuugan, there would be no problem. However... I was researching the Uchiha clan to see what I could determine about the Uchiha clan. It seems as if the Uchiha clan had a genetic predisposition towards insanity because the Uchiha contribution to the clan was intolerant of the genetic differences that allow most major clan's bloodline abilities to work. Bring in someone from outside the clan who doesn't already have a major bloodline, everything's fine, but bring in, say, an Akimichi, say, or... or an Inuzuka, and you will likely cause the same genetic predisposition to insanity."

Both Hinata and Kiba stilled. "Are you sure the Inuzuka clan's blood will cause a problem?" Kiba asked. "We may look it, but according to our records we never bound a lesser demon into our bloodline like some of the major clans did...."

"I'm sure. I tested it against Hana-chan's blood," Sakura sighed, resigned. "Hanabi doesn't have to worry, because none of her lovers have this problem, but..." She couldn't finish her explanation.

"Is there a treatment?" Kiba demanded stiffly. "Some way to... avoid this problem?"

Sakura glanced at Hinata apologetically. The pain in the Hyuuga woman's face was heartbreaking. "Well... if we can seal up her blood before she gets pregnant...."

At the stricken look on her sister's face, Hanabi rushed in to re-assure her. "Don't worry, Hinata-nee-san. I know you want to help our cousins in the Branch family, but I promise I'll take over your place in that. I'm sure father will, too, if you can get him to agree--"

"I don't care about that," Hinata said, forcing the words out with such determination it shut Hanabi up and momentarily stopped Naruto's fidgetting. "I have to know... is there a way to fix the problem if my blood is not sealed up before I get pregnant?"

Sakura blinked. "I don't know. I'd have to look it up. But... well, I don't see how that would matter much -- surely this situation with your father will end some time, and I can teach you some birth control techniques so--"

"You don't understand!" Hinata screeched. "I said I don't care about that. What I care about is that I'm pregnant right now, and I want to know if there's a way to save my child from becoming insane!"

Sakura's eyes widened, but it was Naruto's reaction which was the most unexpected. He leapt up, spinning to face the wall next to them. "No way..." he said, looking shocked.

"Naruto?" Sakura asked, though she didn't seem surprised.

"It's not who we thought it was," Naruto replied, then vanished in a puff of smoke. With the exception of Sakura, the remaining ninja looked confused.

"He was a clone," the pink-haired kunoichi explained. "According to Tsunade-shishou's reports, someone has been listening in on your private exchanges from here inside the apartment. So, Naruto sent a clone with me while the real him went searching for the spy, using his clone here as an extra pair of ears so he would know what to listen for."

"And who's the spy?" Kiba growled. Yes, he was distressed about the news Sakura had brought, but someone spying on them was a more immediate danger.

The front door opened, with Naruto dragging someone behind him. "As I said, it's not who we suspected." Dumping the body on the floor, Hinata started crying.

"Shino-kun," she sobbed, the sting of betrayal piercing every syllable of her words. "Why?"

[Gnosismaster]

Whoa......

DID NOT EXPECT THAT COMING!

[Jin]

WOW. I think this may have made the withdrawal worse.

[Radon]

Haha indeed, I'm defiantly looking forward to the next chapter whenever it may come!

[desaix]

It'll come sooner than the last one. It's almost done, but I won't be able to work on it for a few days at least.

[SakuNaruLover]

wow nice twist, can't wait for the whole chapter

[desaix]

Hm, I need a filler scene in Blossom for an upcoming chapter (not for the next one). Some options (and I need to know soon, or I won't be able to set up one of the scenes -- I need to put some lead-in for the filler for some of these options). This isn't exactly a straight vote, as I have my own preferances for what I want to write, here, but just to give out an additional bit of audience interactivity (and to maybe give me a priority list for the filler storylines I came up with, since I'm pretty sure I'll need to use more than one of these)

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

1 - The Woes of a Drunken Tenten (Humor, adds depth to Tenten and a member of her team that will be showing up in further chapters anyway, may relate slightly to the 'courtesan training' storyline)

2 - Kireme goes to Gai in order to learn more ninja techniques (Humor, does nothing for the story. Ya'll will have to really want this one more than the others for me to try this scene, since I really HATE writing Gai)

3 - Udon, experiencing prolonged seperation from Konohamaru and Moegi for the first time since he was born, muses on his missing friends. (Angst, character development for Udon who will nonetheless remain a minor character -- will reflect more on Konohamaru and Moegi)

4 - Neji discovering what 'running the shadow government' actually means (Serious, expansion of a minor plotline that isn't supposed to matter in the grand scheme)

5 - Word comes from the Raikage that a missing nin, formerly a follower of the conspiracy Kakashi smashed against him, is near wave. Tenten takes the young ANBU squad Anko had been developing out against him (Action, some character development for the ANBU team and for Tenten, but nothing really significant to this story)

6 - A look-see at the courtesan training course Tenten is going through (this would delay the story significantly, as I'm not sure how to handle it, exactly. However, it would be a significant addition to the courtesan training storyline, though nothing in it is needed for the rest of the story. It could also be tied into 1 above, or done indepentantly)

7 - Some effort to bring Pansuke back into the story now (she's still needed as, um, cannon fodder I suppose you could call it, but she isn't important to the story at the moment; she's served her purpose for this generation of the fic. However, she's a popular character, so I suppose I could try and come up with something for her as filler story)

And that's what I came up with. So, what do people want first?

[InvaderSpax]

ok. first off, the teaser scene was quite cool. However, I seem to recall something:

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

Didn't we already know about Shino? In Vol 4 Chap 1, it came out that he has the bugs there partially as protection and partially because he has, as you put it, "a voyeristic streak?" Or am I missing something here?

Just a thought that occurred to me.

Oh, and as for the filler scene, I'm really sorry about this, but I kinda want to see the Kireme and Gai scene. I pictured that and started laughing immediately.

Second choice would be Tenten and courtesan training. Could be pretty funny, too.

M

[SakuNaruLover]

drunken tenten I wonder if she's just the same as Lee when he's drunk

[desaix]

ok. first off, the teaser scene was quite cool. However, I seem to recall something:

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

Didn't we already know about Shino? In Vol 4 Chap 1, it came out that he has the bugs there partially as protection and partially because he has, as you put it, "a voyeristic streak?" Or am I missing something here?

Spoiler! --Click here to view--

Yeah, we know about Shino. Hinata doesn't, however. It's a misunderstanding... more or less. (There really is a spy. Shino isn't it, but catching him helps)

The votes -- both of them -- are taken into consideration. Again, even if I don't do it in the specific upcoming scene(s) I need it for, I'll probably run several of these scenes -- or scenes like them -- into the thread of the story whenever I need a 'scene break' and don't have a big-plot-story-relevant one. So, don't be afraid to vote for multiples....

[tombadgerlock]

Ouch, at least it help, right?
Great work :-) glad to see you are back.

the first option is the best, me think. Drunk humor galor!

[desaix]

I will probably be posting the next chapter (V4 C. 7) in the next ten minutes or so to the library here, and to ff.net and mediaminer.org.

So I DID get it out before April. So there!

(now, the big question is will V4 C8 get out before May...)

Edit: It's now available on ff.net and (hopefully -- the thing crashed on my as I tried uploading. I'll check in a minute) Mediaminer.

[desaix]

Just another note -- I've apparently topped a million hits (divided among the sixty seven chapters, so it's not quite as impressive as it sounds, but is still a landmark) to this fic on ff.net. Heh.

Oh, and I've decided that the first part of the 'Tenten gets drunk' filler plotline mentioned above will be integrated into the next chapter. I'm not QUITE sure where I'm going with it (though I have a pretty good idea), but it'll be interesting... and hopefully amusing. And someone might lose their virginity in the bargain, too....

[Jin]

Just another note -- I've apparently topped a million hits (divided among the sixty seven chapters, so it's not quite as impressive as it sounds, but is still a landmark) to this fic on ff.net. Heh.

Oh, and I've decided that the first part of the 'Tenten gets drunk' filler plotline mentioned above will be integrated into the next chapter. I'm not QUITE sure where I'm going with it (though I have a pretty good idea), but it'll be interesting... and hopefully amusing. And someone might lose their virginity in the bargain, too....

Loved the new chapter desaix.

[InvaderSpax]

well cut me in half and call me a toy-making elf, because it's like Christmas in July!

Loved the new chapter. Still love Sakura's mom.

Can't wait for the next one.

M

[One-Shot]

i just started reading it yesterday, and now i cant find it again!

[desaix]

Next chapter has been posted to the library. I'll probably be uploading it onto ff.net and mediaminer at around 3:30a.m. Eastern tonight. Enjoy!

[Elellon]

Next chapter has been posted to the library. I'll probably be uploading it onto ff.net and mediaminer at around 3:30a.m. Eastern tonight. Enjoy!

desaix, you have the weirdest update times... No update for a year, then three chapters in two(?) weeks? You won't hear me complain though, I'm quite happy with your current update rates