Yeah, imposing violence on those kids won't teach them to value others. What is need is to restore in schools the compassion for others lessons my generation got in public schools in the 1970's. I think it had a very positive effect on my generation- school violence was much lower than with later teenagers. (Even with the tough economic times of the 1980's- if you were poor or lower middle class the 80's were nearly as bad economically as things are now for all but the richest people...) Bullying still happened but tended to be verbal not physical, and not at anything like the vicious level you see in that video, and we wouldn't have even thought of bullying an adult, certainly not in middle school/junior high.
I would think a long in school suspension with lots of education programs and guest speakers on having compassion for others would be the best thing that could be done. Showing these kids just how appalling their behavior was until they truly get it. Testing the kids on the lessons too, to make sure the message got through. Then following through to make sure the education had a lasting influence.
I agree with you ciardha. In my opinion, if every part of society were to focus on the importance of values, I think the effect would be more surprising than everyone would ever expect.
Besides, I've prosecuted juvenile offenders. Trust me when I say, I've seen kids do things that are much, much worse than this.
Nate, now I officially see you as someone to look up to. And "Prosecutor Nate River" has a nice ring to it (I'm serious).
I think a big issue is discipline and lack of 'real work' for children.
I have a little cousin who is 4 right now. He's actually very intelligent and all, but he's almost spoiled rotten. There's... family issues that I think is affecting his youth.
At his fathers house, I'm positive that his step mother gives him whatever he wants and does everything for him. You know, some step-mothers are overly nice because that isn't really their child. Especially in this situation.
So when he goes to spend time with his mother, he's just... unbearable. He doesn't want to clean up his own toys or understand that concept of responsibility for you own actions at all. His mother grew up in a home where physical punishment was not necessary. It was very strict, they had to work for their own things, and privileges were taken away when they did something wrong. But the only thing she enforces on her son is the no physical discipline.
The house I grew up in had a lot of physical discipline. I didn't get whooped too often, but if I did something wrong, I KNEW I would get in trouble for it and I would have to face the consequences. Doing something bad had CONSEQUENCES.
I have a little brother as well, but I feel my mom went wrong with him. You see, as I got older and got more privileges, so did he. For example, if I turned 12 and finally got to stay up until 9:00, he got that privileged too when he was only 8. She was much more lenient on him than me, probably not intentionally, but that's how it is.
Now she gets him whatever he wants. And what has happened? He cuts up in school, picks fights with her, no respect for any authority unless it a cop. It's saddening.
I've seen kids like these before as I was growing up. I used to be bullied by kids like these, though my bullies weren't vulgar like this, they liked to do more physical things to me.
The real problem is parents spoiling their kids and not being involved enough with their child's education and school.
We share a similar story on this one. Thanks to my parents spoiling my little brother, now he believe he's "invincible", to say it like that. Now, they're "paying the price" and I'm afraid to say that the worst is yet to come. Of course, I still hope for him to amend his ways, but I've been waiting for that for a while.
Yep well obviously things are different when it comes to teens, you can't really hit them. I was talking about disciplining them when they're younger. I mean, what would you take away from a 5-year-old? Maybe a favorite toy but then he would start screaming enough to make your head explode. You can't really reason with them with words too much if they start like that.
Well, I have two pieces of advice on this one:
The first one was already given so I'll quote it and give credits to kirabook since she was the one who gave it.
The house I grew up in had a lot of physical discipline. I didn't get whooped too often, but if I did something wrong, I KNEW I would get in trouble for it and I would have to face the consequences. Doing something bad had CONSEQUENCES.
Ahh, I have to go, but as soon as I return, I'll give the second piece of advice.
EDIT: OK, so after this long day I can finally drop by.
So yeah, the first option is this one. Kids at this age work in two ways: either negotiation (rewards for good deeds) or punishment (fear for bad deeds). If they know that something bad awaits them if they do something wrong, then they will not do that.
Now then, you're probably wondering about the crying issue, right?
Well, I've noticed that if a 5 year old kid uses this "technique" to get what he wants, is because their parents have let him do this, and probably since earlier in life (maybe every since the infant was 1 year old). If the parents take different measures to teach their child that crying will get him/her nothing, they will eventually stop doing that. (In a personal experience: the daughters of my neighbor tend to cry a lot. Since I spend time there [her brother is my friend], I usually see them crying. When I get tired, I just go to them, crouch in front of them, looks at them in the eyes and ask what's wrong. They have always stopped crying after that
)
In any case, the way their parents raise their children affects at least their first five years of their like (before elementary school). If that time has been used to teach the kid values, he will learn to respect them. Anyway, raising kids can be tough, but just think about the fact that our parents did the same and well, here we are now discussing these interesting topics.
Edited by Shadow Wolf, 24 June 2012 - 04:31 AM.