It's been a long time since I really did anything in the Naruto fanfiction universe... and I'm not able to write (or to post anything I do write) at the moment. I feel like issuing a fanfiction challenge, however, so I might as well try here. Especially since a lot of the better NaruSaku fanfiction has\is drying up, a bit, so anything which might inspire a burst of more fanfics seems like a good idea.
This is a form of challenge I've seen in other series' fanfiction (Harry Potter, Ranma, a few others). The idea is for the challenger (me, in this case) to give a list of lines for each character that they wouldn't ever say, or at least would be something you would probably never expect to hear them say. The writer accepting the challenge is supposed to try and incorporate as many of these lines as they can in as believable a way as possible -- the more crack-fic it gets, the less acceptable it becomes insofar as meeting this challenge (humor is fine, mind -- in fact, is encouraged -- but crack-fic and\or making the characters massively out of character to get them to say the lines is not). Using all the lines is probably impossible (especially since several of the characters are dead at the points others appeared in the manga, or some of the lines only work in part 1 but not part 2, and visa versa), but try and use as many as you can in one fic.
With that in mind, here is my list in the spoiler box below. (I can't think of lines for everyone, especially for the members of Akatsuki\Team Sasuke\etc., but I think there's more than enough lines)
Naruto:
1. How can you possibly eat so much ramen? Try your vegetables!
2. Shannaro!
3. Kakashi-sensei! You're early!
Sakura:
1. Sexy no jutsu!
2. Dettabayo!
3. Naruto, could you get me a signed copy of the latest Icha Icha book?
4. Yes, the carpet matches the drapes. Want to see?
Sai
1. I think I'm in love!
2. Let me give you some romantic advice...
3. (to Tsunade) Hi, breastless!
Sasuke
1. I love you.
2. (post-Uchiha massacre) I have the best big brother in the whole world!
3. You know what? My clan deserved to be destroyed.
Kakashi
1. To hell with teamwork!
2. If I don't make it at least two hours early, I will run five hundred laps around the village!
Lee
1. Gai-sensei... your eyebrows look ridiculous!
2. Do I have to practice, today? I was going to watch the clouds.
3. Let's go blow up some squirrels!
4. Neji... you are within the range of my divination!
Tenten
1. Why don't I have a last name?
2. Who needs weapons, anyway?
Neji
1. It was long ago decreed by fate that I must go to the bathroom!
2. Fourth gate... open!
Gai
1. Lee-kun... your eyebrows look ridiculous!
2. The wisdom of old age triumphs over the power of youth! (...actually, this sounds almost like something he'd really say)
Hinata
1. Kiba, fetch!
2. U-um, K-kiba... why are you sniffing my b-butt?
Kiba
1. I want a pet cat.
2. I think I'm allergic to Akamaru...
Shino
1. I hate it when ants get into my picnic basket.
Kurenai
1. He's dead? Well, I guess I'll get that abortion after all.
Ino
1. I wish I had naturally pink hair, too....
2. Choji Akimichi, I challenge you to an eating contest!
Shikamaru
1. Alright, you lazy (censored)! Get to work! You don't see me acting lazy all the time, do you?
2. The lotus of Konoha blooms twice.
3. Chess? Not right now. How about poker?
Chouji
1. No, thanks -- I'm on a diet.
2. People only call themselves big-boned as an excuse, you know -- you really are a fatso.
Gaara
1. (after being made Kazekage) I'm going to bed. Wake me after Shukaku destroys the entire village.
2. I never understood why father never let mother hug him.
Temari
1. Trust me -- when it comes to battle fans, size doesn't matter.
2. Like, um, math is hard and junk, so why don't you figure it out for me, Shikamaru?
Kankuro
1. I agree -- the pink face-paint looks much better than purple.
2. Puppet shows are so boring.
Jiraiya
1. Look at all the pretty naked men....
2. That was the tastiest set of frogs legs I've ever had.
Shizune
1. Let's all get drunk!
Tsunade
1. Jiraiya, why don't you ever peep on me?
2. I can't go drinking, now -- do you see how much paperwork I have on my desk?
Danzo
1. You emotionless bastards cannot stand against my will of fire!
Orochimaru
1. Sasuke... show me the sexy no jutsu again!
2. Techniques, techniques, techniques... is that all you want? Extreme determination trumps techniques every time!
Itachi
1. Why did I massacre my entire clan? Well... funny story, actually. It was all an accident.
Zabuza
1. Want me to buy you a new dress, Haku? (Haku must be a male to include this one)
Konan
1. And just why am I the only woman here, huh? And don't tell me about Deidara, because we all know she's really a man!
